Like a drummer who accidentally skips a refrain, your heart winds up off beat. Vocally you open your mouth to a sound which causes puberty flashbacks. All this plus the worst case scenario repeatedly shows on the movie projector called your mind. Asking someone out can sure leave you a wreck!
Do you want to know the most troubling part about the aforementioned? Everything proves self-inflicted. Factor in the outside critics and… No! Let us not even entertain those thoughts. Otherwise you and I stray from today’s goal. That objective embodies forgetting your critics when asking someone out.
Disregarding the criticizers remains especially important to the cerebral palsy community. I mean CP does create extra obstacles. Issues naysayers will feed off, whether acting with good-hearted or malice intentions.
Context by Candlelight
Once receiving a person’s criticism, stop! Alternatively to letting the negativity bog you down, stay mindful to his or her perspective. Ask yourself “Does this person truly understand my situation?”
Perception maintains similarities to a handwoven quilt. Each crafted via a personal touch, utilizing materials the creator personally chooses. Said materials composing the metaphorical quilt entail an individual’s own experiences and interactions.
Now I learned the above a few years ago. Honestly, I realize surface level wise the following sounds silly. Anyways, a positive customer service exchange at an establishment caused me lingering feelings. Initially however I failed to notice the lurking sentiments. Instead I left the establishment pre-occupied by good times among friends.
Meanwhile my emotions impersonated guests attending a surprise party. Hiding along the shadows, eyes fixed on the door everyone anticipating. “SURPRISE!” The allegorical shout arrived upon bed time. Suddenly the employee’s genuineness stuck to my thoughts, as if superglued there. She seemed genuinely nice, beyond tip-motivated kindness.
Eventually I fell asleep and the weekend progressed. Yet a fascination persisted. I turned to friends, seeking emotional support. What a poor choice! Essentially every friend I opened up to deemed the situation hopeless. Still I returned to the establishment, eager to build a rapport with the employee. An action a friend jokingly called stalking.
Listening to the Stethoscope
Another friend, actually the stalker accusing friend’s significant other, offered his advice. “Just go up and talk with her!” Given the establishment’s busy Friday crowd the strategy held flaws. Follow her around while she tried working?
In my opinion the above scene leads to me coming across an overbearing distraction. I pass. The suggestion nonetheless helped me out. A realization emerged. My abovementioned friends’ single days ended years ago. They lacked the perception to properly appreciate my predicament. Therefore allow them to crack their stalking jokes.
Admittedly my example fails to address disability directly. Anyone seeking such stories, I highly recommend reading Ink in the Wheels: Stories to Make Love Roll by Barton and Megan Cutter. Ink in the Wheels details the two’s highs and lows through their inter-ability relationship.
One low that stands out to me involves the many well-meaning people advising the two not to marry. Family members criticized the idea. Despite some logical “why nots” presented, the couple listened to their hearts. A path you should seriously consider emulating amidst your pursuit asking someone out.
Okay, listen to your heart falls into the category vague cliché life advice. Permit me to glean greater substance out the words. Reflect internally, opposed to unquestionably accepting others’ critiques. Ponder “Will I regret not taking action? How would I feel if someone acted this way towards me?” Your responses shall guide you forward.
Forget Your Critics When Asking Someone Out!
Understand asking someone out requires no permission slips. Forget your critics. Remember their perspectives could flaw their opinions. Rather concentrate on yourself. Self-reflect and enable your internal dialogue to provide any needed guidance. Good luck asking your special someone out!
*Link to Ink in the Wheels connects with the Amazon LLC Associate Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.